She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
