you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
