Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
