Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
All I want is dick and wine.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
