so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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