I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
