I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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