It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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