Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
