Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize