We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
