I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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