Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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