did you get engaged???
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
