just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize