butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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