I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
send nudes
from the living room?
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