It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize