I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
