There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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