best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
