Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it was like having sex with a tree stump
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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