thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
