I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
