"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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