yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I intend to get homeless drunk
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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