He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
