She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
