sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
