you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Why are your pants in the freezer?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
