its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
