Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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