mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
