apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
