In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
