you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
