Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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