Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
