Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
