I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
