Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Panties = found
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
