Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
