I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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