I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Operation Purity has been aborted
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
