im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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