I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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