you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
