Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The best revenge is premature balding
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
