I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
