i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
