okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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