So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
