I love black thongs
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Randomize
