I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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