I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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