I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
