Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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