he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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